Before our two little girls, we went through two miscarriages actually and I would like to share them so women can be forewarned about it if they (unfortunately) happen to go through it in the future.

When we first tried to get pregnant, we were pretty lucky to get pregnant that first month we tried. Before we tried, I stopped taking the “pill” for six months and started prenatal vitamins I think about a month before. Prenatal vitamins are supposed to be taken three months before you start trying actually, and this is what I did with my third pregnancy. We were so happy that we got pregnant so fast, it was unbelievable!

My first ultrasound was at 8 weeks, which is pretty typical, but when I first walked into the ultrasound lab, I had a bad feeling about the place. It seemed older and just not a nice office, very plain. I didn’t care, I was super excited to see my little baby on the screen. My husband was with me too because he was not going to miss this, no way.

They called my name and I went into the little ultrasound room but my husband wasn’t allowed in yet. The techinian used the ultrasound machine on the exterior and took a bunch of measurements and didn’t let me look at the screen yet. Then finally, after much anticipation, she showed me where the “baby” (called embryo at that point) was and that it only measured 5.5 weeks. I’m like, WHAT?! My heart just dropped, how could I be THAT much off? The techinian even asked me whether I got my period dates wrong, and I told her no because I was watching it like a hawk since we were trying to get pregnant. She just said, it’s too early, you will probably have to come back a little later. She didn’t (or wasn’t allowed) to give any further details until the results went back to my doctor. When I saw my doctor, she couldn’t see anything wrong and said to try again in 3 weeks.

The 3 weeks never came.

Two days before that 2nd ultrasound appointment, I started spotting. I went into the emergency room at the hospital because it was a Sunday, they checked me out then and didn’t find anything wrong but couldn’t give me an ultrasound until Monday since that dept was closed. HOW AGONIZING! Talking about being stressful, I had no clue what was happening since this was my first pregnancy. Finally, Monday morning came and I went to get the ultrasound at the hospital. They first did an external ultrasound and they didn’t say much to me. Then, they did an internal ultrasound on me where they take a long probe and insert it into me to take a closer look. Then, a doctor came into the room to tell us:

We do not see a heartbeat. As well, the embryo has not grown much since the last ultrasound which was almost three weeks ago. What you are experiencing is a miscarriage.

The doctor even tried to show us on the screen how the embryo is not alive because the tissue in that area was not moving while you can see slight movement of cells around the rest of the screen. Then they let my husband and I have a moment alone.

I turned to him and just cried.

For the next several days, I experienced a natural miscarriage. What I’m about to say may shock you, so I’m warning you now. First came more spotting with clots for one more day, then very intense cramps by the next night, so painful that I was bent over when they came. I think that’s the first time I felt contractions, and I think that is what the uterus was doing, dispelling the embryo and the “stuff” that has been supporting it. I had to take some motrin to ease the pain. The next couple days after this cramping came LOTS and LOTS and LOTS of blood and blood clots. I couldn’t believe how much there was, it was almost scary but it’s normal, this is how the body gets rid of everything. In the midst of all this coming out, I was supposed to collect some samples of the blood clots to see if I can catch the embryo so the doctor can send it to the lab for testing to find out what went wrong……. FORGET THAT! There was no way in hell I was going to catch anything. Every time I went to sit on the toilet, so much stuff came out there’s no time to catch anything! So the heavy bleeding lasted two to three days, and then lighter bleeding for another week after that.

We never found out what went wrong with this pregnancy. They say that about 20-25% of women do miscarry with their first pregnancy so maybe I was in that percentage. As well, it’s nature’s way of telling us that there was something terribly wrong… or, God was telling us, it’s not the right time yet.

We had to keep moving forward and look forward to our next pregnancy.

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