September 16, 2011 in mommy stuff
Gena of The Morris Bunch Blog writes that she’s been horrible at working out because she has no time to exercise. Well, of course she doesn’t, she has FIVE children and TWO step kids to take care of and she’s home alone with the smallest ones all day long. I have two little girls and know exactly what she means. She goes on to say she resents her husband for taking nightly runs while she cooks and cares for her children. Hello? Who wouldn’t be resentful? I know in my household, it’s CRAZY here during dinner time and often I’m home alone too while I have to cook and care for the girls but that’s because my husband’s at work.
What’s the kicker? Someone commented on her post suggesting she go running after dinner while husband cleans up and do dishes. Her response was, “He thinks after dinner it’s his time so that doesn’t work out real well either.” I’m sure he is a great guy but…… WTF?! I’m so pissed off for her right now!!!!!
My husband is not as bad as this guy but there are times that make me wonder WTF? Sometimes he would take showers at the most inopportune times when we’re trying to get ready to go out when he could have done that way before. Most times I do get stuff ready to go out by myself but it’s nice to have a second person to either get the kids ready or double check the diaper bag. If something is forgotten, it’s always my fault since I’m the one getting shit together! Other times, he would go ahead and take a nap when one of our babies go down for one. Umm, hello? What about me?? If he would have asked, that’s great, but he just does what he wants when he wants to. He does other stuff around the house too without asking if I need any help with the girls and it drives me crazy. When I say I have stuff I want to do too, then he tells me why don’t you just do what you want to do like I do? Umm, because I don’t know if you’re going to take care of the children or take off doing some other chore or sleep or whatever!
My hubby has definitely made changes since those days and now always asks me what I want to do before he does things himself. There is only so much free time that each of us have and it seems unfair that the children always go to “Mom” by default. I can imagine lots of other Moms out there are feeling the same thing as Gena and me. Moms seem to always have to plan things in order to do what they want while Dads just pick up and go on the whim.
The best way to get around it is to tell your partner how you’re feeling and together figure out a way to fit both of your activities in. Both are parents, not just Mom. Both have needs, not just Dad.
For Gena, I hope she finds a way to fit her exercise in with her husband or get the help she needs so that she can have that 30 minute or an hour run because this alone time for her is so important. She needs to find “her time” too. Being a stay at home mom is hard, moms totally need her own space and a break from the daily grind or she will start to lose herself.
Hoping the best for you, Gena!!