motherhood, etc.

When I started up this blog again earlier this year in July, I had promised myself that I would keep it going.  But what happened?  I found out in September my sister’s breast cancer had spread to several major organs.  To say the least, I was everything you can imagine: devastated, sad, in disbelief, numb.  I was frozen for awhile there and I couldn’t do anything productive because all I could think of was my sister, her husband, and her two young boys, 5 and 2. Writing this blog just seemed so frivilous in the big scheme of things. I didn’t know what to write and didn’t think anything I wrote would be appropriate to what I was feeling.

What I was able to do was photography because some shoots were booked ahead of time. Even then, I wanted to just finish them so I can get back to caring for my sister. Is this a new job or role I had to help my sister? Or am I attending to her to avoid what I should be doing? As hard as it is, I realized that I must live my life and keep moving forward because no one will do that for me but me. My family is still priority and my life is even more important.

As a stay-at-home mom, life has been getting easier because my youngest is now over one year old (already) and my oldest is 2.5 years. They are actually playing together at times and I can do some chores without much worrying. My youngest also started walking just before she turned one so she’s been walking for a few months now. Without these two little people, I don’t know how I would still have reason to smile.

I had wrote “where’s me in all of this” back in September and today I can say I have myself back and this is because I am fully ready to take on the reigns of my life. I’m responsible for everything that happens in my life, and instead of complaining like I did in that blog entry, I’m going to do something about it and take my life back. I can have it all: be the best mother, be the best wife, be the best business woman, be the best person and still be there for my sister – I just need to move forward.

I AM EXCITED!

 
PS – My sister is still fighting on strong and I know she will get through this. I know she will be healthy and healed real soon because I pray for her everyday and see her in my mind as strong and living her life like never before. If you would pray with me, I would so appreciate it. Thank you.
 

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